just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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