He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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