The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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