i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Randomize
