This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
