I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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