what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
I've blown a few things in my day
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
