508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
I just made out with a guy for $7.
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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