Why are handjobs necessary in class?
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
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