Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
