So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Randomize
