Yo dont text me then not text me
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
