i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
