K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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