Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
be right there i have to get my cape
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Randomize
