break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
My feet surprised me
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
Randomize
