was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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