my soul wont recognize me after tonight
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
Randomize
