Don't make out with my wife yet
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
she peed on how many people?
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Randomize
