He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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