I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
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