there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Randomize