yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
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