Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Randomize
