I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
