Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
