He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
