They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
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