there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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