umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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