Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
Randomize
