I think scott just propositioned me for sex
I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
Randomize