Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Randomize
