he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
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