i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
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