I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Randomize
