Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
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