You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize
