wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
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