one might say we're banned from that church
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Randomize
