who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
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