A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
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