question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
I'm sobbing to NWA
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
Randomize
