yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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