i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
