And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Randomize
