you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Randomize
