I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
Randomize
