In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
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