I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Randomize
