If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
