How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize