We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
