how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
she looked like the before picture.
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
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