Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
