I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
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