I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
