Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Randomize
