trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
Randomize