Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Randomize
