sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize