did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Randomize
