kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
