Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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