wrigley field is MILF paradise
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Randomize
